The Man I Love
by kakashi2000
Summary: Kakashi was raped and Iruka...well, what do you expect the man to do anyway : Kakairu


TITLE: The Man I love

PAIRING: Kakashi / Iruka

RATING: NC-17

AUTHOR(s): Kakashi2000

FANDOM: Naruto

SUMMARY: Kakashi was raped and Iruka helps him (Kakairu)

DISCLAIMER: The characters in this story does not belong to me, but I'm using them for the fun

of it just the same.

Winter was cold that year.

Like everyone else, Umino Iruka felt the effect as he sat perched on the branch of the great oak tree. He has been sitting there, practically at the same spot maintaining the same position, looking intently at the dimly lit room at the top floor of the Jounin quarters, for every night, for the past three weeks.

It brought him comfort to know that the other person was safe in a place filled with other Jounins and Anbus.

After that terrible incident, he was not willing to take any chances.

Gai-sensei, Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei would keep him safe from within and he would guard the outside perimeters, in clandestine of course, like everything else he'd done for his secret love.

His Kakashi.

Iruka closed his eyes tightly as an image rushed through his mind. A terrifying scene that would be embedded in his mind till the day he die.

_Battered, bloodied and brutally used_…that was how he found Kakashi five weeks ago. The enemies had somehow managed to lure the Copy Ninja into their trap and slate their revenge and lust on him in the most humiliating way imaginable.

But, in spite of their well-laid plan, there was one thing they did not anticipated…

Iruka's wrath.

" _You have killed them all ? " Tsunade asked in disbelieve. _

_Iruka nodded and knelt. " Forgive me Hokage-sama. I have defied your order." he answered calmly as he handed her ten bloodied hitai-ite " To keep him safe - I did what I had to do"_

_Tsunade blinked, looking almost dumbly at the head protectors. True enough that Iruka was one of her secret Anbu, but to take down ten trained assassin single handedly was something beyond her expectation. She has indeed misjudged the mild-mannered sensei._

" _They won't be coming back for him "._

The wind was picking up speed and lashing at his body like an icy whip. Iruka clutched the dark cloak tighter around his slender frame. The Anbu gear did not help much to protect his skin from the weather, but still he remained there, a silent angel in the veil of night, protecting and guarding the one person who has captured his heart, wholly and completely.

" _Although Kakashi's physical wounds have healed, I am now more worried on the effect of the incident has to his mind. He will now need protection not from his enemies, but from himself. You know that don't you ? " the Hokage asked in a grim voice_

_Iruka nodded sadly. " Yes" he answered, doubt lingering in his mind " But I'm not sure if I'm the right person for this. You see…Kakashi….I…"_

_Tsunade eyes narrowed, looking intently at the beautiful young man in front of her. She has long suspected the ardent affection the Chuunin bears for the Copy Ninja, but only now, in his eyes, she was seeing blatant proof that confirmed her claim." Understand this" she said " I could have assigned another person for this task, a woman perhaps, but I strongly feel that it must be carried out by the one who loves him best. And you above all others is the best shinobi to do it."_

The Chuunin-Anbu shivered as another gust of wind hit his body. Burrowing deeper into his cloak, he sighed and gazed longingly at the Jounin's opened window.

He missed his friend terribly.

After he was discharged form the hospital, Kakashi had locked himself in his room, refusing to let anyone in, even the Hokage herself. It was only normal after what he's been through, but Iruka could not help but wished that he could help him somehow, provide him comfort at some measure.

After all he was his friend.

Then, in the midst of his musing, Iruka noticed a shadowed figure moving slowly within the confinement of the room. Judging by the size and gestures, he could tell it was Kakashi, but what was he holding up in his hand ?

Something glittering…

Something sharp…

Iruka's eyes widen in horror as a sudden realization struck him. Without another thought, he slipped on his mask and dashed towards his love…

Silent tears fell on what seemed to be a candid picture of himself and a young pony-tailed man. They were both laughing at something and he had an arm, casually wrapped around the other's shoulder in a friendly, yet affectionate gesture.

To the onlookers, the two of them would appear as just mere friends, best friends at most, but little do they suspect that beneath the carefully laid out charade, Kakashi has been harboring feelings for the mild-mannered Chuunin since the first time they interacted, which was almost ten years ago.

Even from their rocky beginning of constant misunderstandings and endless bickering, up to their now budding friendship, his heart has stubbornly wanted no other. He tried to deny this of course, to tell himself that it was wrong to love in such a way, but his efforts were in vain. The more he tried to get the Chuunin off his mind, the worst it became until finally, he relented and circumvented to his heart's desire.

However, things were not that simple.

By professing his love to his friend, Kakashi would risk being shunned by him and that was something that the Copy Ninja was not willing to do.

How could he ever live if he should loose him.

In his lonely life as a shinobi, the Chuunin was his everything : his friend, his foundation, his sunshine, his salvation and…..his life. It was because of him that Kakashi became what he was now, the need to protect him made Kakashi drove himself to further excel as a Jounin.

Everything was for his friend.

For his Iruka.

With trembling fingers, Kakashi wiped the tears from his eyes, realizing the hopelessness of his situation. At one point he actually believed that maybe....just maybe he stood a chance in winning the Chuunin's heart. But in his disorientated state, the enemies have used his weakness and took away his one hope of ever being truly happy…..

Memories of that dark night plagued his mind once more.

How could he ever face Iruka now…

_He deserves someone better…someone that could protect him…..not a weakling like me !!_

The shining kunai gleamed underneath the moonlight which spilled into the room through the opened window. Kakashi eyed the weapon with burning determination to end his suffering.

He would rather not live at all than to live without Iruka.

Holding the kunai high, the despondent Copy Ninja tilted his head back and closed his eyes before plunging the lethal weapon towards his waiting chest.

_Farewell Iruka…_

Everything happened in a flash.

Simultaneous action of opposing cause.

A spinning shuriken was thrown towards the dipping kunai, rendering it away from its intended path. A sharp sound of clashing metal rang through the silence of the night followed by an outburst of pure fury.

" What the hell are you thinking Hatake Kakashi !!! "

Iruka was struggling to control the rapid beating of his heart, ramming almost painfully against his chest. He could feel himself shivering not from the cold but from the other's brash intension. _How could Kakashi be so foolish as to end his life this way_, he thought in despair.

In front of him, the Copy Ninja remained still, blood dripping from the hand that was to initiate the lethal blow. It was hard to see the expression on his face since part of it were covered by the unruly mass of silver hair. But Iruka could sense the rising intensity of the other's fury

He gripped his kunai firmly underneath his cloak. In his current unstable state, there's no telling what Kakashi might do or if he was still able to differentiate between a friends and a foe. Kakashi in his rampaging Sharingan mode was something which should not be taken lightly and Iruka knew the consequence he was taking against it.

" Kakashi-san ? "

The Copy Ninja opened his eyes slowly and Iruka found himself staring into a pair of mismatched eyes flashing dangerously. A slither of fear ran down his spine.

" You ! " Kakashi hissed, voice trembling slightly in restraint anger " You were the Anbu who so called saved me "

" Yes "

" Do you think you've done me a favor by rescuing me ? " the Copy Ninja lashed out " Do you have any idea what you have done to me ?!!!"

Iruka remained silent.

" You should have left me there to die " the Jounin continued sadly, a stark contrast to his earlier rage " You should have let me end this "

The pain in his voice was palpable, piercing deep into Iruka's heart. At that moment, more than anything, Iruka wished that he could wrap his arms around his friend, comfort him, and perhaps, kiss his grief away and letting the strength of his love shine through Kakashi's deepest and darkest hours.

" Why…..why did you save me ? " he asked in a softer tone, head bent, shoulders slouching slightly.

Iruka finally managed to summoned enough courage to move closer " Because I saw someone worth saving "

" So you're here to save me again ? " asked the Jounin, words dripping with sarcasm.

" From yourself…yes"

Kakashi's head snapped up, eyes flashing once again in anger. Before Iruka could react, the Jounin had sprung towards him, swinging him around and slamming him up against the wall. " Who do you think you are to tell me what and how to live or end my live ! " Kakashi spat, pinning the Chuunin in place with his long lean body.

" Who the hell are you !!! "

Tears of frustration ran down the Jounin's handsome face, marking his pain and suffering. Glistering orbs of mismatched colors burned into Iruka's darker ones, his tortured soul was reaching out to the Chuunin, pleading in its intensity. Iruka sensed it somehow and that above all others made him do what he did next….

Without fully considering the consequences of his next move, Iruka reached out and pulled the Jounin closer. He let the hood which was covering his head slid off and slowly pulled the Anbu mask away, revealing his identity to the other shinobi for the first time.

" Someone who loves you " he answered in all honesty before leaning forward and kissed Kakashi.

Kakashi watched in shocked as the painted Anbu mask was pulled off, revealing a familiar face of rare angelic beauty.

A face that had captured his heart for what seemed to be forever.

_Someone who loves you…_

The words echoed in his mind.

_Could it be possible ?_

He dared not breathe…

Dared not even hope.

Before his confused mind could actually register what was happening, warm soft lips were pressed against his, coaxing a response which in his current state could not comprehend. His logic seemed to be drowning in a myriad of emotions, struggling to decipher what was currently happening.

His body however, was a different matter.

Sensing Iruka's action as a sign of acceptance, Kakashi's body immediately reacted to the most primal of instincts. With a groan, he parted his lips to devour the other's in a long passionate kiss, something he had been wanting to do for a very, very long time.

He felt more than heard, Iruka moaning into the kiss and shuddered.

This is what he wanted, craved for all his life. He felt as if he was floating, his senses enveloped by Iruka's every breathe, smell and warmth. He was in heaven…..until reality finally came crashing in.

" Damnit Iruka ! " the Jounin cried and he tore himself away " I don't need your pity !!"

It took sometime for Iruka to regain his composure " Pity ? " the Chuunin said in disbelief " You think this is all about pity ? "

" Yes ! What else could it be "

Iruka almost laughed at the idiocy of the notion. " And here I thought you were a genius " the Chuunin said with a smirked " You think that I kissed you because I pitied you ? "

"…."

" I love you " Iruka added, his voice firm and unyielding in its stance " I have loved you for a very, very long time ". The Chuunin made his way back towards Kakashi in slow determined steps. " In fact.." he whispered with a smile " I have loved you from the first moment we called each other idiots "

Kakashi was trembling now, eyes glistering with unshed tears " You can't love me Iruka " he said, voiced laced with pain. He closed his eyes tightly, telling himself again and again that this was not about him. It was about Iruka and that the Chuunin deserved someone better. " I don't deserve you "

" How can you say that ! " the other insisted

" You deserve someone better. A person who can protect you, keep you safe…" he explained " and not a weakling like me "

There was a long silence.

" Do you love me Kakashi ?"

Iruka was looking straight into Kakashi eyes, burrowing deep into his soul for an answer he was reluctant to give " Do you love me ? "

" I can't…"

The Chuunin gripped his arms painfully as if forcing an answer out of him " Yes or No !"

" Please Iruka…."

_Please Iruka….don't make me hope for something which can never be…_

" Answer me Kakashi ! " the Chuunin insisted, hazel eyes flashing in fury " Answer me ! "

" Yes " Kakashi whispered in defeat, turning his face away in shame. " Gods, Yes ! "

Gentle fingers slowly caressed the side of Kakashi's face before turning his head to face the smiling visage of his beloved Chuunin. " That's all I need to know " Iruka whispered, eyes shining with so much love that it spoke directly to Kakashi's heart, erasing all his initial doubts.

Without another word, the Chuunin reached out and pulled Kakashi in for a lingering kiss that took their breathe away. He wanted to heal the Jounin's soul with the strength of his love and he found the right opportunity to show him…

The sun rose beyond the horizon in a symphony of suffused pink and gold, greeting the new lovers as they laid entwined in each others arms. Long pale limbs wrapped possessively around tanned ones. Gentle, loving words whispered against kiss-swollen lips that could not get enough of each other.

Another kiss.

Another forever.

Gentle fingers began to slowly caress the smooth plains of the now familiar body, unintentionally renewing its vigor. Twisting their entangled bodies, Kakashi once again pinned Iruka underneath him before dipping his head to once again claim the sweetness of the other's lips.

Iruka moaned at the onslaught, wrapping his arms and legs around Kakashi, urging the other to claim him as he did last night. Lean toned bodies slid against each other, straining to get closer. Sounds of pleasure could be heard emanating from parted mouths, panting and chanting each other's name as if it were mantras to quench the need within their lonely souls.

" I love you" one of them whispered

" I love you" answered the other

When their needs were sated, the lovers clung to each other, basking in the warm aftermath of their lovemaking.

" Kakashi ? "

" Hmmm ? "

" For now, let me be strong for the both of us "

The Copy ninja smiled " Yeah, I'd like that Iruka" he whispered, holding the other closer " I'd like that very much "

Iruka gave a sigh of contentment as he nuzzled the other's chest. This was a place he had longed for, the place he was meant to be from the beginning ….in the arms of his beloved Jounin.

And he will do anything in his power to protect him…

-OWARI-


End file.
